No Rain, No Flowers

There is a famous quote written by Sherrilyn Kenyon that says, “A flower cannot grow without rain.” In today’s world most people desire to have a life that flourishes and blossoms with color and livelihood, but most often forget that in order for a flower to grow rain is required. In other words, in practical life, growth is forged by the fires of life. This concept is eloquently elaborated on in an article titled, “The Opposite of Toxic Positivity,” by Scott Barry Kaufman. The article discusses how confronting challenges with the mindset of finding meaning is a better alternative to blindly avoiding inevitable conflict with false positivity. Furthermore, real growth can be achieved when one understands “tragic optimism,” how one can find optimism in tragic and painful experiences, and the Biblical perspective of searching for opportunities of growth and deeper meaning during life’s grueling trials.

First, understanding “tragic optimism” is vital in being able to pursue a life of growth. This term is traced back to a Holocaust survivor named Viktor Frankl. The tragedy this man must have endured is unfathomable. If he is encouraging people to look for meaning in the midst of suffering after having suffered in a concentration camp, then I truly believe actively seeking meaning and growth is far better than avoiding life by falsely portraying positivity. Furthermore, Kaufman defines “tragic optimism” as “the search for meaning during the inevitable tragedies of human existence, and is better for us than avoiding darkness and trying to stay positive.” This perspective of “tragic optimism” is superior to that of mere positivity in that “tragic optimism” provides an opportunity to grow. In addition, growth brings forth benefits as well. Kaufman describes how false positivity is actually “detrimental to mental health” and takes away an opportunity to grow. Also, researchers have found that “posttraumatic growth” can cause people to grow in various different characteristics that have life-long value. Due to this, it is important to confront problems rather than avoiding them. Neglecting the chance to grow is an absolute tragedy. However, being aware of one’s conflicts and enduring through the tempestuous seas of life brings growth and resilience. The widely renowned novel, Safely Home, by Randy Alcorn, has a recurring saying that appears throughout the novel. The saying goes, “Real gold fears no fire.” This quote reflects the argument of Kaufam and Frankl in that when one has a perspective of searching for growth and meaning, the fire is no longer seen as loss, but rather gain because the person knows they will be refined. Perspective allows for the trials of life to become great opportunities for growth and refinement. Moreover, as Robert Emmons states, “Life is suffering.” We cannot avoid the inevitable, but we can choose our perspective on the challenges that plague our lives. Accepting life’s difficulties while actively searching for growth is the heart of “tragic optimism.”

Next, one can find optimism in tragic and painful experiences in many ways, but primarily through gratitude and gratefulness. First, studies have shown that gratitude also brings great health benefits. This alone should bring great optimism because with health benefits comes longer living. Kaufman refers to a study that evaluated 500 people from March to May of 2020 during the global pandemic. The study showed that “56 percent of people reported feeling grateful, which was 17 percent higher than any other positive emotion.” This statistic goes to show that having an attitude of gratitude even during difficult circumstances helps one appreciate the good, rather than focusing on the bad. This perspective allows for a greater appreciation of life itself. In addition, Kaufman refers to Kristi Nelson, a woman that was diagnosed with cancer at 33. Nelson states that she was “constantly on the lookout for opportunities to cultivate gratefulness.” She was all alone in a hospital room, void from the love of friends and family, and yet she chose to look for things in her life to be grateful for. This example should honestly be a challenge to all people that no matter how tough the trial might be, there is always something to be grateful for. Life is a gift, and the giver is good. Moreover, Nelson expands on the difference between gratitude and gratefulness. Gratitude is “a momentary emotion,” but gratefulness is “an overall orientation.” Instead of forgetting the trials and focusing on the bad, we must strive to remember the good and how the fires refine us into precious gold. Gratefulness makes trials bearable because the trials become an opportunity for growth. The flowers are grateful for the rain, and we should be grateful for the trials.

Lastly, my personal position on the topic of “tragic optimism” is in agreement with the Biblical perspective of searching for opportunities of growth and deeper meaning during life’s grueling trials. The Bible is very clear that trials are a gift because they are an opportunity to grow. James 1:2-4 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” The Bible literally says to count trials as joy because steadfastness is grown in trials. The quality of steadfastness is only grown in a person through trials. Moreover, Kaufman describes “existential gratitude” as being “on the lookout to find the hidden benefit and the opportunities for growth in everything.” By counting every trial as joy we can be actively seeking growth in every season. Furthermore, Robert Emmons states, “Gratitude is not just a switch to turn on when things go well; it is also a light that shines in the darkness.” After reading this quote I immediately thought of John 1:5 which states, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Positivity can easily be overcome with negativity. However, a deep sense of gratitude defeats the darkness. In the darkest points of life, gratitude can be the glimmer of hope, the source of light that keeps us pushing through the hardest moments. Appreciating the trial, seeking growth in the midst of difficulty, and enduring from a deep sense of gratitude is what makes the rainbow at the end of a storm much more special.

In conclusion, the opposite of toxic positivity is “tragic optimism.” This outlook is far more beneficial, not just in terms of health, but also in persevering through the trials of life. In order for one to experience growth, “tragic optimism” must be understood, how to find optimism in tragic and painful experiences must be realized, and the Biblical perspective of trials must be applied. By having a perspective of finding meaning and actively pursuing growth, the trials become a gift rather than a punishment. In addition, having a sense of gratitude in every season of life makes difficult times much more bearable, and allows for the small things that are typically taken for granted to become appreciated. Furthermore, every storm is an opportunity for growth, and having this perspective is detrimental in enduring tough circumstances. The flower cannot blossom without rain. You, my friend, cannot blossom without the storm.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/08/tragic-optimism-opposite-toxic-positivity/619786/

^^article that is referred to in the essay!