2021 !!

Truthfully, it’s taken me a while to finally sit down & really reflect on 2021 because I have been avoiding it. It was quite a year. Looking back, I honestly envision it as a roller coaster in that some moments were the highest of highs, but then also the lowest of lows. I remember my word last year was “become.” This word means to “begin to be.” I wanted to begin to be more of all that God called me to be. Now, looking back I see that I became so much of the person I always dreamed of being. The Lord heard my cries and my deep desire to grow, and He answered. Not in the way I hoped He would answer, but in the only way that true growth is formed: trials. I went through some of my hardest trials and circumstances that I have ever experienced in my life in 2021, but instead of blaming God for what happened, I instead thank Him because I asked for flowers and He gave me rain. We all know that without rain flowers cannot grow. The Lord allowed my life to experience great storms so that I could blossom and become more of the woman He created me to be. Once, I was engulfed with other people's views of me. Now, I look to my Savior for approval and identity. Formerly, I thought relationships were what the world revolved around. Now, I see that relationships are a part of life but not the point of life. Being a disciple and making more disciples is our purpose. I used to idolize friendships, but now I realize that Jesus is the truest friend we could ever have. I also used to be so obsessed with this idea of true love, but now I see that true worldly love is impossible until you have fallen head over heels in love with the one who loves us like no other, the true lover of our souls. My first and forever love, my sweet Jesus. I used to take family for granted, but now I see that family is my firm foundation, a rock in the midst of mighty storms. Life used to seem so mundane and everyday faded into the next, but now I see everyday as a gift from a good giver that I should spend every moment to the absolute fullest. I used to rush through special moments, but now I stop and smell the roses. I used to not let myself sit in the quiet and rest in the stillness because of a fear of my thoughts & feelings, but now I value the time where I can get away with the Lord and sort through my life. I did not know who I was at all and I wanted to be who everyone else told me, but when I was stripped of everything that meant most to me I learned who I am. That is the greatest gift of all of 2021, I discovered who Bailey really is. So here is the person I have become and that I absolutely love because she isn’t bound in fear, insecurity, and constant questioning anymore, but rather she is completely free, secure in Christ, and lives a life marked by great love and purpose because of Jesus. This is about to sound so cheesy, but here we go! I have become someone who absolutely loves to dance (especially to Spanish music), I LOVE talking to people and having meaningful conversations, my heart is deeply rooted in missions, I want to be a Christian Counselor and super involved in the ministry, I have a slight obsession with coffee and dream of being a barista or owning my own coffee shop one day, I am called to do YWAM &&& I AM ECSTATIC EEK, I love love love kids and serving with the youth, I absolutely love mentoring, playing guitar and singing is literally life giving to my spirit, reading Jesus books and drinking hot tea might just be my favorite thing now oh and sitting in an eno, if it is an adventure sign me up in bold letters, I will jump in a river in December, hike a trail at 12am, or go on a roof, friendships mean a whole lot to me, having a Jesus spot where I can just be real with the Lord is very special, I could stare at the stars for hours, I definitely am obsessed with sunsets and sunrises, I really love working hard for something, I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, I really like boxing although I am terrible at it, I could walk 3 miles straight and want to keep going, movie nights are my favorite thing, school is very important to me but it doesn’t define me, I really love cheering, I love belonging to something greater than myself, I love serving, I love my sorority sisters (honestly never thought I would do one haha but I love it), family means the world to me, I like to try to be artsy and aesthetic but half the time it does not work but I do love taking tons of pictures and capturing every moment (sorry all the people this annoys haha), SO MUCH MORE. Although all of this is great, the things Jesus has taught me are incomparable. He has taught me that I am made new in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17 & Isaiah 43:19-21), the process of pruning is one that is necessary and so worth it (John 15), He reminds me that I must trust Him for all things are possible with God (Matthew 19:26), He taught me that He is my good shepherd and that in Him I truly lack nothing and that He completely satisfies every hunger in my heart (Psalm 23), He showed me that I am fully redeemed by His great and wild love (Isaiah 43), He reminded me tenderly that He is in control of my life and that He has a perfect plan for me that is better than anything I could ever imagine (Proverbs 16:9), and He taught me to simply “let it be” by giving Him the entirety of my life. There is such beauty in surrendering wholeheartedly to the Lord and following after Him with heart abandon. Though it was my hardest year, it made me the strongest in Christ. Thank you Jesus. He is so present, so steadfast. In 2021 I have encountered what truly being in love with the Lord and finding my identity in Him alone looks like, and for that I am forever grateful for this past year and all that I have become.